Why Are Men Emotionless About Infertility?
While infertility is a common problem, it’s not often discussed openly.
As many as six million couples deal with the issue, yet the majority of infertility resources are focused on women. Men’s feelings about it are often ignored or not given as much importance.
More importantly, men tend to “act” as if it is not important to them.
In reality, men deal with many emotions around infertility issues. They’ve been trained by society to bury them, to not discuss them. Society says that men aren’t supposed to be emotional or sad.
Many men say that they don’t feel they have anyone they can talk to about it. Men often feel like their feelings and emotions need to take a backseat to their partner’s feelings.
Infertility issues can feel like a blow to the male ego because men are seen as virile and strong so they feel like their masculinity is being tested.
Tests to determine the cause of infertility can be humiliating.
If the cause of infertility is his, a man can be left feeling guilty and wondering if his partner thinks less of him.
Men and women are equally as likely to experience infertility issues, yet since male infertility is not openly discussed, it can feel taboo to bring it up or feel like you need support.
Men hide their feelings and instead focus on helping their partners feel better. This suppression of emotions can lead to finally erupting in anger, depression, shame, and sadness.
Though it may seem difficult or uncomfortable to seek help and support, it can make a significant difference.
Friends, family members, and professional equine gestalt coaching can help to overcome feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and shame.
The most important thing to recognize is that these are all valid emotions and that many men experience them around infertility issues, you are not alone.
Find a way to release any frustration so that it doesn’t lead to further problems.
Being active, socializing with friends, and playing sports are all healthy ways to cope with emotions.
Stay connected to your partner. Share any difficult emotions with your partner; men don’t always have to be the strong one. You are experiencing infertility as a couple so depend on each other for support and comfort.
Remember, no one is to blame, infertility is a couple issue, not an independent problem. Stay present and live in the moment, day to day, as you work through your problem together.