Couples Coaching for Better Relationships

Building Trust in a Relationship

Trust is not always a given in a relationship. If you’ve been hurt in a previous relationship, it may be hard to trust when you start a new relationship.  If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, sometimes trust can be broken by one of the parties through their hurtful actions.

Either way, trust is not something that’s easy to come by. It takes time and effort to build a foundation of trust in any relationship. Yet it’s worth it. A deeper level of trust in any relationship builds a stronger bond between you and the one you love.

Here are 10 great ways to start building trust in your relationship:

1. Communicate Openly

Communication is one of the biggest factors in trust and it’s something that many people don’t do well. Communicating your needs openly and honestly makes you vulnerable to your partner. Which tells them that you’re trusting them with your feelings and you expect them to be gentle. And, it opens the door for them to be open and honest with you as well; building a stronger bond.

Skip the text messages and emails where so much can get lost in translation. Instead, talk face-to-face where you can look in each other’s eyes, hold hands, and make a connection.

2. Always Be Earning Trust

Just as you shouldn’t take your partner for granted, you shouldn’t take the level of trust in your relationship for granted either. Always work to earn your partner’s trust through your words and actions. Give them every reason to trust you and no reason to doubt you by remaining conscious of your actions and how they may be perceived.

3. Keep Secrets

Not from each other, of course, that would destroy your trust. Instead, keep secrets for each other. If your partner tells you something in confidence, make sure you keep that secret for them. If your partner opens up to share something about themselves with you that they wouldn’t want others to know, make sure you not only keep it to yourself.  Additionally, never use it against them in a disagreement. Doing so will destroy their trust and make them feel like they shouldn’t tell you things, instead, they will want to keep secrets from you.

4. Always Keep Your Promises

Broken Promises are not just a disappointment to your partner, they are also a trust-breaker. Keeping promises is not just about the big things, like taking time off work for a vacation, it’s also about the little things. If they’ve asked you to do something for them, do it. Call if you’re going to be late, remember to pick up the dry cleaning on the way home, reschedule those cancelled plans. Little things can go a long way in building trust.

5. Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable

The ultimate sign that you trust someone is by opening up to them.  Opening yourself up allows the other person to feel more comfortable about doing the same; therefore, building a stronger foundation of trust between you. We all have a tendency to keep things to ourselves at times; thoughts or ideas that we have, plans we’d like to make, yet including your partner helps them feel closer to you. As if the two of you have your own inner-circle secrets together. Allow yourself to be more vulnerable where your partner is concerned to build trust in your relationship.

6. Forgive Often

We all make mistakes, big and small, doing and saying things we shouldn’t. Being in a trusting relationship means trusting that your partner will be able to forgive you when you make a mistake. And doing the same for them. Some mistakes may take a little longer to get over than others, yet in the end, you need to find your way to a place of forgiveness for the sake of your relationship and building (or rebuilding) trust.

7. Don’t Be Judgmental

No two people are alike, we all have our differences. It doesn’t matter why something is or isn’t as important to your partner as it is to you, it only matters that your relationship is a safe-zone for expressing your differences. You need to be able to respect each other, and your differences, without judgement in order to build a trusting relationship.

8. Become a Better You

When we take the time to better ourselves, we have more to offer to our relationship. Personal, and individual, growth is not only important to you, it’s important to your relationship. If you start to feel stagnant in your own life, your relationship will suffer as well. You may not always grow together in the same way at the same time so it’s important to respect and support each other’s changes.  Becoming a better person will strengthen your relationship and build your trust as your changes are accepted and encouraged.

9. Never Argue in Public

Arguing in public can embarrass your partner and cause a scene. Instead, take your disagreements home where you can discuss them privately. Embarrassing and humiliating your partner in public will quickly break down the lines of communication between you and destroy the trust your partner has in you. It’s better to take your disagreements to a private place where you have a respectful and non-judgmental conversation about the issue.

10. Always Be Supportive

Being supportive of your partner will go a long way in building the trust in your relationship. It’s important at any stage of your relationship to know your partner has your back even if you make mistakes or take risks. If you don’t feel that support, not only will it hold you back, it will eat away at the trust your relationship already has or is trying to build. When it feels like the whole world is against you, it’s important to know that your partner is on your side, standing beside you no matter what.

A trusting relationship will be able to weather any storm and come out better for it. And making a daily effort to work on your relationship is work that will always pay off in the end.

In addition to these 10 tips for building trust in your relationship long-term, here are a few simple ways you can work toward building trust every day:

  • Flirt with your partner – when your partner feels loved, they never worry about whether or not you’re being unfaithful. It removes any doubt they may have about your feelings for them and builds a strong bond of trust.
  • Socialize together – spend time with your friends, your partners friends, and doing things with just the two of you. You may not like each other’s friends, however if you’re willing to spend time with them, it shows you’re committed to your relationship. And making special plans for just the two of you to spend quality time together will let your partner know just how important they are to you.
  • Don’t hide your friendships – even if it’s only someone at work that you don’t spend much time with, be open about who you talk to and spend time with. It doesn’t have to be a “confession,” yet more of a “this is how I spent my day” type of conversation. Your partner will know that if you are that open about things that don’t really matter, you must also be open about the things that do and it will strengthen their trust in you.

Trust is something that no relationship can ever be without. When trust is lost, it must either be rebuilt or the relationship will suffer and die out. The more you work to build trust with your partner every day, the easier it will be to recover when a mistake is made and feelings are hurt.

Struggling with trust.  Has a partner cheated?  Want to know how to fix it call for a FREE exploratory session with me and the horse to see how We can help you heal the past trauma around trust and get you connected with yourself and your loved one.  970-682-4405