Deciding to start a family can be a very exciting time in your life. You’ve dreamed of it for years, made plans, and maybe even already decided on baby names. The time has finally come and you’re ready to get pregnant.  Yet something you never thought about happening has happened; even though you’ve done everything, you just are not able to get pregnant. And now your dream of happiness has turned to frustration and disappointment. How do you deal with that?

Do not blame your partner

First and foremost, it’s important not to blame your partner. It is not one person’s fault over the other’s that you are not able to conceive. Creating a new life takes two people and you are in this process together. If one of you is having a fertility problem, it’s a problem for both of you to accept and deal with. Release your partner from blame.

Allow yourself to feel the pain and frustration.

Forcing a smile when you feel like crying is only bottling up your pain; it will still be there for you to deal with and the more you hold it in, the harder that pain will hit when the time comes.

Be realistic about your prospects.

It may surprise you to know that only 25% of women get pregnant within the first few months of starting the pregnancy journey. For most women, it can take anywhere from six to eighteen months. Stop obsessing about all the things you need to do (checking your ovulation cycle, planning sex) and just relax. Strangely enough, for most women who have had trouble conceiving, when they give up the expectations and start being present with what is, they get pregnant!  I am sure you have heard stories of couples who decided to adopt and then found out they were pregnant.

Keep yourself healthy.

Getting pregnant may happen when you’re not actually working so hard and you want to make sure your body is healthy for the precious baby. Eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. This will also help to keep your spirits up and keep you from getting depressed.

Keep yourself occupied

Stay busy so that you’re not constantly thinking about your frustrations. Take up a new hobby, spend time with friends, enjoy date nights with your sweetie.

Avoid situations that will bring you down.

If someone is having a baby shower and you just don’t feel like you can manage to go and smile through it, don’t. It’s okay. Send a gift so your friend will know they’re thinking about them, yet send something like a book to help you avoid shopping at baby stores.

Keep your spirits up.

Laughter really is the best medicine and it will ward off depression and frustration so when you start to feel down, find something to make you laugh. A funny movie, a YouTube video, or a chat with a good friend. Laughter will help you get your emotions back on track.

Always remember that you are not alone in your journey. There are hundreds of thousands of people who have struggled on this journey just like you. If you feel like you need support from someone who understands what you’re dealing with, join a support group or come let the horses heal you heal. You never have to face the frustration alone.  I have been on the journey so you are not alone.  Please call for a FREE life coach consultation at 970-682-4405 or email me at andrea@witherswhisper.com.  The horses and I would love to help you through this journey.

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