Having a baby can be one of the most exciting times in a relationship, yet if you’re having trouble conceiving, it can quickly become one of the MOST stressful times.  Usually there’s a tendency for one partner to shoulder all the blame while the other takes on a superior feeling, whether subtly or not.

So how do you manage and get through this difficult time while strengthening your relationship instead of blaming?

First, and most importantly, you have to recognize that infertility is not simply a wife’s problem or a husband’s problem, it’s a couple’s problem. You are in this together. It’s one of the few medical issues that involves two people. Remember those vows you took, for better or worse, in sickness and in health? Well, this is the time they really count. Remember that your marriage is a partnership, not a solo venture. Whatever is happening to your partner is also happening to you.

This is also a time to make sure that your communication skills with each other are at their best. This is a stressful time and if your communication with each other breaks down, it will become even more stressful. Most men and women communicate differently, they have a different way of expressing their emotions, so learn the best way to talk to your spouse so they will understand what you’re really feeling. Talk openly and honestly about the struggles you’re dealing with and how you feel.

Be sure to spend some time educating yourself on the options available. Understanding your situation will make you feel less helpless and more in control of your decisions. Decisions that you make together.  Talk about your options, how long you will continue to try and how much you’re willing to spend, as well as other options available like adoption. Making these decisions as a team will release either of you from blame.

Focus on strengthening your relationship through this stress; it will create a stronger bond no matter the pregnancy result. Plan time together where you are not allowed to talk about your infertility, just time to be together and loving.  Getting back into relationship/contact with each other will help tremendously.  Relieving stress is one of the best ways to eliminate blame and reconnect as partners.

Equine Gestalt work is a great way to relieve stress and reconnect as partners. It allows you to communicate easier, and without blame, and build trust in your relationship. Contact me if you’re interested in learning more about how it can improve your relationship.  This could even improve the odds of pregnancy.  Call for a FREE consultation at 970-682-4405 or email me at andrea@witherswhisper.com.  I look forward to helping you with this very delicate issue.