As children, we don’t always have a clear understanding of things that happen to us; we don’t know how to process them, learn from them, and let them go, so we bury them. As adults, we’ve forgotten about things that happened to us or don’t feel they’re important enough to deal with now. Yet the habits we learned as children, good or bad, come back to haunt us as adults so we need to face them so we can deal with them and live happier, healthier lives.
Here are a few things you may not be paying much attention to that you need to take a look at:
Your parents were controlling
Stubbornness is a defense mechanism that we develop as children to fight back against controlling parents. As adults, we tend to feel defensive (and stubborn) in situations that don’t necessarily call for it because it has become a natural response.
You were allowed to watch violent shows or play violent video games
As children, we learn by modeling and copying adult behavior. If the behavior we witnessed was violent, that’s what we learn and become. The same goes for abusive language and other actions, it can turn us into verbally and emotionally abusive adults.
You experienced a trauma
Childhood trauma is closely related to eating disorders. Studies have shown that children who experienced a trauma, such as sexual abuse, grow up to be obese adults. As children, we don’t know how to deal with trauma, so we learn to eat to soothe ourselves and feel better. As adults, eating to soothe has become a lifelong habit.
Lack of relationship with your father
As children, especially for young girls, we need to have a strong connection with our fathers to develop healthy relationship habits later in life. If that relationship is missing, we don’t always know how to respond in intimate relationships so we pull away and get defensive in order to protect ourselves from the unknown.
You had parents with substance abuse problems
Growing up in a home with parents who abuse drugs or alcohol usually creates children who have to grow up quickly in order to take care of their parents; skipping childhood altogether. If you didn’t experience a full childhood because you had to become the parent to your parent, you are probably too serious about life, feeling a strong sense of responsibility to everyone around you.
If you can relate to any of these situations, or feel that there is another event from your childhood that is holding you back as an adult, it may be time to consider Equine Gestalt Work. It will help you gain a clear understanding of what you’re feeling so that you can begin to recover and become a happier person. The horses are ready to help you heal these or other past traumas. Please call for a FREE life coach consultation today at 970-682-4405 or email us at andrea@witherswhisper.com.